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The Ex (The Corny Myers Series) Page 5


  “Corny, you lead such an exciting life—not one I’d want, but exciting all the same.”

  “Thanks. I think. Get your butt out of bed; we’ve got work to do.”

  “Got it boss, see you soon.”

  Great. Brenda called me boss now. Steve walked into the kitchen and gave me hug.

  “Corny, please be careful today. I’ve got a bad feeling about Vinnie,” he said.

  “What about Celeste? What’s your gut feeling on her? Will they find her soon?”

  “I don’t know. Patrol units will be watching the house and your office. Can you be extra careful today? Please?”

  After a long, slow kiss I said, “I’ll do my best.” And that was the truth.

  ****

  Behind the wheel of my bright red Mini Cooper, I zipped into Green Hornet Investigations, as Halo’s bright pink Volkswagen Beetle sputtered in, with a blue stream of smoke in her wake.

  Brenda and I sandwiched Halo between us as we checked closets, the bathroom, and the kitchen. No Celeste and no Vinnie; this could be a good day. We declared all clear and Halo made lattes with happy faces in the foam—the eternal optimist.

  Around noon, the door opened and a large man with a huge bouquet of yellow, orange, and red tulips, walked in. We’re such suckers for flowers we never looked at his face until he dropped the pretty petals on the floor and shoved a large, black pistol to Halo’s temple.

  Sweat dotted his forehead and spittle flew out of his mouth as he said, “I’m Vinnie and I want my dog back.” He looked around frantically. “Is she here? I don’t want to hurt you, but I will, if you don’t give my sweet baby back to me.”

  He wiped his wet brow with his free arm. He mumbled to himself, “My idiot goons… what are they good for? They let my precious baby run right out the front gate.”

  He nudged the barrel at Halo’s head, which made her tilt her head at an odd angle.

  “Am I going to have to blow your cute little head off, or are you going to give me my dog?”

  He looked like a rabid dog, with all the spittle collected at the corners of his mouth. Halo winked at me and collapsed, without hitting her chair or desk.

  Vinnie looked at Halo and shook his head. “I want my dog. I don’t care who gets her for me.”

  He pointed his gun in my direction. Spittle sprayed out of his mouth. “You. Get over here. Tell me where Fifi is. I’m not messing around here,” Vinnie yelled.

  I jerked back—I didn’t want his spit to land on me.

  “Doesn’t anybody listen to me anymore?” He kicked Halo in the side and she grunted. “Get over here or I’ll shoot your little friend.”

  I froze, too scared to move and scared not to. I accidently bumped into one of the large watercolors that hung on the wall; the frame swung back and forth, about ready to fall to the ground. We all froze. Brenda used the distraction as an opportunity to grab Bertha, run over and zap Vinnie in the rear end. That was her preferred area to zap. I wasn’t sure why and I didn’t plan to ask her.

  Vinnie twitched from the shock, turned red in the face, and aimed his gun at me. He was able to pull the trigger before he collapsed. The bullet grazed the side of my head, and slammed me into the wall. My head felt like someone had taken a blow torch and ran the tip alongside my scalp. The pain was almost unbearable.

  Stunned and propped up by the wall, I touched my temple with my fingertips. I came away with a fair amount of sticky blood. As I stared at my hand I heard the buzz of the taser again. Brenda must’ve wanted to make sure Vinnie didn’t get up anytime soon.

  I heard Halo scream, “Holy shit, you’ve been shot.”

  She must’ve faked the faint. Nice trick. I could officially hand over the shellac. Brenda grabbed for me as the floor got closer and closer to my face. My last thought —I broke my promise to Steve—again.

  ****

  I woke up in the ambulance and winced in pain. Brenda must’ve not reached me in time. The medic told me the Seattle PD, Sheriff’s Department, and the FBI had all arrived by the time they loaded me up and drove away. Everyone wanted a piece of Vinnie. I was sure Steve was in the mix somewhere too.

  My head was X-rayed and my temple was stitched. When the doctor tried to part my bangs to finish the last stitch, my hair wouldn’t budge—that darn shellac. He’d kept a straight face as he snipped a few of my precious strands to finish the job.

  The curtain opened and Steve walked in with a duffle filled with clean clothes and a small white bag from Confection Perfection bakery. Without a word, he opened the bag and I looked inside. He’d brought me a red velvet cupcake. What a sweetheart! He peeled the paper back; I leaned forward and licked the frosting. Yum!

  “Corny, you’re going to be the death of me,” he said.

  Because he smiled, I knew everything would be okay.

  “I’m sorry I got hurt again.”

  “I know you are.”

  He kissed my forehead and said, “Kitty called to check on you. She got the whole story from Brenda and Halo. I told her to call you tonight. She told me to tell you, ‘I’m ready to spill the beans.’ She said that’d make you happy.”

  “Woo hoo! She’s going to spill the beans on who she’s sleeping with.” I threw my arms in the air and grabbed my head. “Ow! That hurt,” I said.

  “Come on honey, let’s get you home.”

  “Is Celeste waiting at home with a martini and your slippers in hand?”

  “No. She should be in the air, on her way back to D. C. A couple detectives caught her in the process of trashing my desk this morning. She must’ve flashed her badge to someone who remembered her.”

  “Wow, what’s going to happen to her?”

  “You know what? I don’t know and I don’t care. Let’s get you home.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Pete took one look at my bandaged head and chattered non-stop.

  What the heck happened to you? Did Celeste attack you?

  “She’s gone and won’t bother us again. I’ll explain later, when my head isn’t pounding like a jackhammer.”

  “Steve, I’m going to take a bath, I feel grimy.”

  “I’ll be in to check on you in a minute. I have another surprise for you,” he said.

  “Another cupcake?” I asked.

  “No. I’ll just be a minute.”

  Steve seemed excited about the surprise.

  I walked straight to the bathroom, turned on the bath water, poured in a big glob of my apple blossom bubble bath and stripped. After I’d soaked for five minutes, the door opened. I thought Steve planned to join me, but all I saw was Pete’s beady eyes, as they peaked around the door.

  I couldn’t see Steve, but I heard him laugh and then say to Pete, “Come on, get in there.”

  A second later, Steve gently shoved Pete with his toe and my fury friend sprang into the bathroom, wearing a tiny vest. Steve followed, and laughed as he leaned against the door jamb.

  “When you told me Pete couldn’t swim, I got an idea. I remembered seeing this in the window at one of those Gucci pet stores and knew Pete would look handsome in a tweed life vest. Steve lifted Pete up, over the rim of the tub and into the bubbles. He bobbed up and down like a cork, with a huge smile on his cute little ferret face.

  This is my first bath with a girl. What fun! No wonder you two spend so much time in here.

  “Hey, Pete. Pass the soap,” I said and giggled.

  Huh?

  Steve handed me the soap, kissed me on the forehead and sat down on the toilet seat. “If you two don’t mind, I’m going to sit here and enjoy the show.”

  “Pete reminds me of a duck. All calm on the surface, but I can feel his body moving like crazy, underneath the water.”

  “Oh, Corny. You and Pete definitely keep life interesting. I know this is pointless, but please promise me, you’ll try and not get hurt again.”

  I had my fingers crossed under the bubbles. “Absolutely!”

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  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Other Stories by Sharon Kleve

  Dedication

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN